Lifestyle of Complexity or Simplicity

1st. Draft 2nd. Draft
After discussing, we regard that complex lifestyle is like urban
 
lifestyle. It changes a lot and waste a lot. Everyone can be
 
so wasteful and materialistic that he lives in a work-buy-spend-
 
and-throw-away lifestyle. People work in long hours and making
                                                                                1.mv 
more money for satisfy them. Most people just aren’t really
                     2.inf.               
being honest with themselves about money. They have a
 
high-stress life and more desires. In fact, they don’t know that
   3.adj.
all they do is far more than they need. As we know, simplely
                                                                          4.adj
lifestyle is opposite to lifestyle. The word “easy” to describe
                                                                       5. mv.     
this lifestyle. In other words, it makes people work less and
 
spend less. They know what they need to do, and don’t think
 
too much. As the article suggests,  people may do better work
 
when they choice work less and spend more time on her family
              6. mv. 7. inf.                                 8. prep    
They don’t buy too much and  use longer so as to saving.
                                             9. im.
People don’t worry about nothing to do. They just work less and
 
have free time to do what they are interested. He or she pays
 
attention to the disposables, food, entertainment and clothing.
 
We like simple lifestyle more than complex lifestyle. We have
 
three reasons to support it. First, we think make money is not
                                                                10. g.
the most important thing in our life. Because when most people
 
make money, they lose the direction of life. Second, in addition
 

to our friends, our families are the people who are closed to 

                                                                      11. adj
us. So we should spend more time and pay more attention to
 
them. Final, simple lifestyle let us face less pressure. Our life
       12. adv.                  13. agr.                               
will become easily, and we can do what we like.
                14. adj.
Due to the three reasons, simple lifestyle maybe it will
                                                             15. red.
bring more fun to us than complex lifestyle.
16. agr.      
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Score:  65
After discussing, we regard that complex lifestyle is
like urban lifestyle. It means changing and wasting.
Everyone can be so wasteful and materialistic that
he lives in a work-busy-spend-and-throw-away
life style. People work in long hours and make more
money to satisfy them. Most people just are not
really being honest with themselves about money.
They have a highly stressful life and more desires.
In fact, they do not know that all they do is far
more than they need.
As we know, simple lifestyle is opposite to complex
lifestyle. The wordeasydescribes this lifestyle.
In other words, it makes people work less and spend
less. They know what they need to do, and do not
think too much. As the article says, people may do
better work when they choose to work less and
spend more time with their family. They do not buy
too much and things they buy can last longer so
as to saving. People do not worry about nothing to
do. They just work less and have free time to do
what they are interested. He or she pays attention
to the disposables, food, entertainment and
clothing. We like simple lifestyle more than
complex lifestyle. We have three reasons to support
it. First, we think making money is not the most
important thing in our life. When most people make
money, they lose the direction of life. Second, in
addition to our friends, our families are the people
who are close to us. So we should spend more time
and pay more attention to them. Finally, simple
lifestyle lets us face less pressure. Our life will
become easy, and we can do what we like. Due to
the three reasons, simple lifestyle will bring more
fun to us than complex lifestyle.
Score: 85

 

Explanation
1 於一個句子(sentence)只能有一個主動詞, 但常常會多需要一個主動詞, 在這種情況下, 對等連接詞被允許來連接兩個動詞, 而免去另寫一個句子的麻煩. 所以在這個句子裡連接詞and 連接兩個主動詞work make 而改成work in long hours and make more money
2 , 如果同一個句子再需要另一個動詞怎麼辦? 那就用不定詞 to (infinitive to)後面加動詞原型所以要寫成 to satisfy. 另外, 不定詞to常是片語in order to的縮寫, 有作某事欲達到某項目地的涵意. 因此這個句子的意思是: “人们上班時間加長以及賺多點錢的目地是為了滿足他們(的慾望). 另外如果要用for(為了), 動詞後面要加ing, 變成動名詞(gerund), 因為for為介係詞(preposition), 根據文法規定, 介係詞後面要跟名詞, 而動名詞是具有名詞的性質, 因此即使要用for也要寫成for satisfying.
3 容詞 (adjective) 形容名詞 (noun); life 為名詞, 前面的詞性(part of speech)理所當然應為形容詞. stress 為名詞, stressful為形容詞; 又形容形容詞的詞性為副詞(adverb), high的副詞形態為highly, 所以應改為highly-stressful life.
4 可能是筆誤. simple lifestyle 很順口, 不是嗎? 然而道理是: 形容詞形容名詞, 並不是副詞形容名詞. simple lifestyle一個形容詞加一個名詞形成一個名詞片語(noun phrase), 同時也成了這個句子的主詞(subject). 記住一個句子的主詞一定是名詞或名詞片語.
5 The wordeasy”是一個名詞片語, 理所當然是這個句子的主詞; 那麼主動詞是describe. 不定詞 to 後面加動詞原型, 這樣的型態是動詞片語, 不能是主要動詞, 因此去掉to. The wordeasy(easy這個字)是主詞單數第三人稱, 所以主動詞後要變化, describe變成describes. “easy” 在此處是指一個字a word, 但這個字是指easy 所以要用指定冠詞the. The word easy describes  this lifestyle (simple lifestyle). 意思是:簡樸過日子就是怡然自得.
6, 7 也可能是筆誤. choice大家都知道是名詞, 動詞是choose;  在時間副詞子句(adverbial clause): when they choice work less,  work 是這個時間副詞子句的第二個動詞, 所以必須在兩個動詞間加入不定詞to.  正確的子句是: People may do better when they choose to work less and spend more time with their family.  (人們表現的會更好, 當他們選擇縮減工作時數以便和他們的家人有更多時間相聚時)     
8 spend on意思是: 花費時間在某件事上. 但我們不說把時間花費在家人身上, 我們要說的是: 與家人在一起, 因此在這種情況下用with (與誰在一起)是合情合理的
9 They don’t buy too much and use longer so as to saving. 這個句子(sentence)的意思極不清楚. 連接詞and除了連接動詞之外, 也可以連接兩個子句, 同時這兩個子句所提到的事項, 必須是相關的. 這個句子的第一個子句 (clause) 由於主詞及主動詞明顯, 因此意思清楚: 他們不太購物(They don’t buy too much). 因此問題出在第二個子句, “沒有主詞” , 也就是說甚麼東西可以用的久一些以達到節約的目地呢? 第一個子句提到購物, 那麼第二個子句的主詞一定是與他們所買的東西有關囉? 所以主詞可以寫成things (which) they buy (他們買的東西), 而主動詞為last (持久), 所以第二個子句的意思就變得清楚了things they buy can last longer (他們買的東西可以用得久一些), 因此整個句子的意思是: 他們不太購物而為了節約他們總買可以用得久一些的東西.
10 是一個筆誤, 在名詞子句 (noun clause) (做主動詞think的受詞)賺錢是主詞, make money是動詞片語, 如同前面的一些錯誤, 要把make money改成動名詞(gerund), 也就是動詞後面加ing, 作為名詞, 就可以理所當然地以名詞的身份成為主詞. We think (that) making money is not the most important thing. “is”是這個名詞子句裡的主動詞: 我們認為賺錢不是最重要的事.
11 be close to 親近的.  close 是形容詞, 意思是接近或親近的意思. closed 雖然可以作形容詞用, 但有動詞的意思, 表示關閉, 結束的意思如: The office is closed. (下班了.)
12 意思的轉承(transition)都要用副詞放在一個句子的最前面, 譬如這個段落說明喜歡單純生活的幾個原因, 第一個, 第二個, 一直到最後一個, 這些原因次序所用的副詞(first, second, finally)就叫做transitional words轉承詞.  除了表示次序(order, sequence)的轉承副詞如以上的first, second, finally之外, 常見的轉承副詞有: however, as a result, consequently, by contrast, in addition, moreover, furthermore, besides, likewise, similarly等等. 轉承副詞很重要, 因為它們為文章的內容建立環還相扣的情節, 是提昇閱讀與寫作能力的一項重要技巧.  在此處既然是副詞所以final改成finally.
13 既然simple lifestyle 是主詞, 且是單數第三人稱, 主動詞let應該改成lets.
14 動詞becomebe動詞一樣, 形容詞 來形容主詞:  Our life will become easy. (我們的生活會變得輕鬆.)
15, 16 simple lifestyle是主詞, 後面加主動詞. maybe 是副詞; it是人稱代名詞; 只有bring是動詞, 所以改成 Simple lifestyle brings more fun to us than complex life. 記得bring要改成brings, 因為主詞 simple lifestyle是單數第三人稱. 另外it取消的原因是: 英文文法規定一個句子只能有一個主詞.  既然it指得就是simple lifestyle所以取消it. maybe表示可能性 (possibility), 是轉承副詞, 必須放在句子的最前面: Maybe simple lifestyle brings us more fun than complex life. Simple lifestyle may bring us more fun than complex life.  但對於自己的選擇太沒信心了, 才用可能 (maybe may), 在現實情況裡, 對自己的處境不利, 故不用maybe. 同理, will 也有不確定的語氣在, 故用現在簡單式(brings)陳述一件成立的事實, 也是對自己的選擇表示信心.