Okay, here's the deal. Being one who has suffered from the malady, I believe I can discuss a certain ailment with undue authority.¹  It's a common disease, one that almost everyone will fall victim to at some point in their lives,²  and one that will be the Achilles' Heel of most. I am, gentle reader, one of those Chosen Few. The actual name of this illness is unknown, but for me, there is only one true name that can be given to this evil among us. The condition is known as "stupid love." 

 "Stupid love" is the love that makes men agree to stand in the ladies' underwear department, holding a purse and two shopping bags, trying to keep some degree of masculinity about the whole event.³  "Stupid love" is the love that makes educated women try and learn how to love monster truck rallies, just so they can spend quality time with their significant other.⁴

More explicitly, "stupid love" is also the love that makes people act like drooling idiots when they get dumped. They'll follow their exes around, try to sabotage their jobs, their new loves, and their new lives. These obsessed fools will do anything to get their lost love to come back into their lives. And, if not that, make them suffer in wicked, horrid ways. 

 Matthew Broderick plays Sam, an astronomer whose true love, Linda (Kelly Preston) dumps him for a mystery dude she meets in New York. Sam heads to the Big Apple to get her back.⁶ He meets up with Maggie, played by Meg Ryan, who is stalking her own ex, Anton (Tcheky Karyo), who also happens to be Linda's New York Mystery Man. Maggie and Sam join forces to try and strip Anton of all his dignity and drive Linda back into Sam's arms. But, can you believe it, Sam and Maggie start feeling a mutual attraction amidst their psychoticepisodes...? 

 Broderick plays the obsessed lover well. He almost eeks toward Jim Carrey's part in The Cable Guy in his manicphases. Ol' Matt hasn't been this funny in years. The forever-dreamy Meg gets the chance to spin the dark side of her French Kiss role. Where French Kiss allowed her to be airheadedand babbly, this role gets to the heart of the true psycho ex. She's a major threat in her motorcycle leathers and "holy mother-of-pearl" eye liner. She's foul-mouthed, she's evil, she's a walking time bomb. It's magnificently clear that both of these perennial "good guys" relished this Lou Reed song opportunity. 

There are spots, though, where a finer editing hand could've balanced things a shade, and at times, the love story between Sam and Maggie almost gets in the way of the dark humor.⁸  Other times, the cruelty of the revenge segmentsundercuts the tenderness of the love scenes. More of an equal spread might have made for a better all-round movie.

Aw, now, folks, this movie ain't all honey and roses. It has its faults, yes, but, it is a relaxing way to recover from the stomping of the thunder lizards and the screams of the pre-teen monster fans. Jimmy Buffett once called his anthem "Why Don't We Get Drunk (And Screw)" a "love song, from a different point of view." Borrowing from the Mayor of Margaritaville, let's call Addicted To Love a stupid-love movie, from a different point of view.

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